tough

It is tough sometimes to be away from your family. Especially when you are hurting and needing help. As I am up here in Michigan getting help for my pain (which is hard for people to see) I just wish that all this never happened. It is so hard to explain how I hurt and how I cant do what I used to do. I was once a man that could do as I pleased. I worked hard to provide for my family. I came home and took care of my wife and my kids. I worked in the yard and kept our vehicles up and running and looking nice. I was able to cook and clean without any problem. Now it is hard to do the simplest things. I get sick if I stand too long. I get sick if I bend over. I get sick if I lift too much. My head hurts constantly.
There are times that people would see me out and about but it was because I was sick of being alone in the house and always confined to the house. So, even if my head was not pounding out of this world but still hurting I got out some. But maybe that was a mistake. Because when people see you out and about then they think you are just fine. That is where I put the parenthesis. Pain is hard for people to see. So, since they cant see what is going on inside of me then most people think all is well. I learned a valuable lesson in all that. I should not be driving. I have had it explained to me by the doctors and by a roommate that just left over the weekend. If I drive and I have another episode whether it be passing out, dizzy spells, etc. then the accident will be on me. I could not live with that. So, I have made a commitment that even if I do feel good I better not drive. It will be hard but I have to abide by the law and by my doctors orders.
I miss my kids, I miss my wife, and I miss my dog. I am getting tired of hospital food as well. It gets old quick especially when it gives you gas. Whew, it is not fun for my roommate!! Ha, Ha, Ha.....
I have enjoyed getting to know some of the patients here at Chelsea Community Hospital. Which the Michigan Headache/Pain and Neurological Clinic is associated. I have gotten to know some of the families and their children. It has been fun to play with them and fun to pray with other patients. I have gotten to pray for those that are hurting so bad that it is painful to watch. You wish you could do something for the pain. But we know, as Christians, that God is the one that can take the pain away. It is hard sometimes when you feel like your head is about to explode all the time. Or you are so low emotionally that you just don't feel like you can go on. But, we all need to know that He is the one that took our pain and made it His pain. Thank the Lord we have a Saviour as He. May God bless you all!

Walter